|Indefinately not available to the public
||[08 Nov 2006|12:44am]
I have made up my mind to make all the posts unavailable to the public. Save for one, as it is a reminder of some of my most cherrished memories and moments, which was talking to Rie. Someday I will figure out how to start a conversation with her again.
Back to the point, since I manually had to go through each entry, it is unlikely that I will be reversing this action. If you want to talk to me, start a conversation with me.
||[08 Feb 2004|02:00am]
So, I don't really know what I'm doing.. I guess I wasn't satisfied how we
left off last night. I don't think you understand how I feel.. or how badly
this is upsetting me. I don't even know why myself... I mean, I sat there,
actually crying over this, and I don't know why..
Maybe because this is all my own fault. I brought this all upon myself when
I was such a bad friend. I wish so badly that I could just take that back.
I'm upset because I feel that we'll never be as close as we once were. I
feel like summer is permenantly gone, because as cheesy as it sounds, when I
think of summer, I think of... well, you, Pete. Don't think I don't remember
how we talked real late, or before you went to work on saturdays... I think
its little things like that, that make it sting, when I think back to a few
months ago, because I feel like I've lost all that. I feel like I've lost a
friendship.. And I know you say that you're my friend, and I know you are,
you are... but it still feels so different.. so much like a different
friendship and I hate that it's different... I want it to be the same... But
I know you've changed, and I'm sorry I'm comming off so pushy..I just miss
things.. and I really do miss you...
I really don't know. I guess we got weird when you told me you liked me. I
was so stupid. Whether you meant it like that... or not, I was so stupid. I
abdoned you, someone who was such a good friend to me, and I'm so sorry. I
know I can't take it back... But I want you to know that if it happened now,
or were to happen again.. I wouldn't act the same way I did.. I wouldn't
have run away or left or turned my back on you. I would've stayed and
talked. I was just intimidated... and frankly, when you told me, I was
scared... I don't know how to handle things like that...I really am sorry..
I don't know. I guess I just needed to get that off my chest. I'm so upset
about this. I don't know why, I just miss you is all... Maybe one day you'll
open up a little more and let me in again.... I dunno. I'm sorry again pete.
I really do love you as a friend and I dunno... I just really hope you know
that I consider you a true friend...
Okay.. I'm gonna go.. please respond or I'll feel completely stupid... Night
i remember when she wrote this. i remember reading it. i remember crying to it, just like now. i remember not knowing what to say. i remember..
i was just looking through all the pictures you've sent rie, and i owe you tons and tons of pictures. this was from so long ago. i had to post it so i couldnt forget it. funny how things change, funny, how they come back around, now i am the one who misses..